Today being St. Paddy’s day, which happens to be my favorite day of the year, I’d like to express a few thoughts about it.

St. Patrick’s Day is:

• A celebration of Irish heritage through music, culture, food, stories, and Yes a few pints
• NOT about drinking green beer and getting fall down drunk
• A remembrance of past ancestors who came to America to better themselves and who fought for and built this country.
• An ode to all Irish who struggled through the days of “Irish need not apply”
• A time for tradition, family, friends, and loved ones.
• Embracing the Irish character, personality, and charisma that make Irish culture truly unique
• Honoring Ireland’s independence and freedom from England’s rule
• NOT about fighting
• Hope that the struggle that still continues in N. Ireland between Catholics and Protestants will end

Watch this short video on the real history of St. Patrick’s Day:

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A 20-year old Nebraska man was arrested for putting his cat into a homemade bong and smoking pot out of it.  The 6 month old female cat, named Shadow, was being hyper and its owner was trying to calm it down.

Police arrived for a domestic dispute call and found this dude smoking weed out of a garden hose ducted-taped to a box with the cat inside.

A couple things:

1) This is incredibly inhumane, and I’m not a huge fan of cats.

2) Last time I checked, cat only tastes good with some sweet & sour sauce.  So why would you want to smoke cat? Does it get you more high? I’ve heard of some fucked up ways to get high but this is ridic!

3) Was there water in this bong? If so, this dude probably has the cat’s short and curly’s all over his mouth and throat.

According to reports:

“This cat was just dazed. She was on the front seat of the cop car, wrapped in a blanket, and never moved all the way to the humane society.”  What? Really, that’s so weird?!?!?  Go figure, a stoned cat being lazy.

I’m sure the cat was a bit hungry as well.

It’s safe to say the cat’s brain is a scrambied egg.

Good Luck to you Garfield!

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Malibu from American Gladiators explains his passion for brew and women…fantastic. This is epic! This guy is probably chasing the dragon in an abandoned warehouse in Santa Monica.  He also got turned down as an extra in the 1989 classic surf movie Point Break.  Bummer dude!

‘take a brewsky in 1 hand, babe in another”

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How is Dikembe Mutombo still playing NBA basketball?

This lanky 7 foot 2 bastard is like 50 years old. He rides the bench for the Houston Rockets…and thank god for that. I hated watching him play basketball, looked like a giraffe running down the court. Plus that damn finger wave looked like ET phoning home.

The greatest thing Mutombo ever did was the following story from We Talkin’ Bout Practice NBA blog.

“Dikembe (I think he was a sophomore at the time, meaning he was probably around 28) was beloved by his fellow classmates at G’Town, known to be a very social and friendly guy. He was also an inexperienced drinker and supposedly got BOMBED whenever he went out and partied, which was very seldom. One night, Deke rolled to some club in Maryland with some friends, absolutely belligerent and dressed like a fool, and upon making his presence felt, hollered out, “WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTUMBO?! WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTUMBO?!” The entire bar went silent for a few brief seconds before erupting into laughter.”

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Urban Dictionary states:

1. Man hands
(n) Phrase to describe a woman’s hands when they are ‘less than feminine’.
From the TV Show Seinfeld

“She’s got man hands!”

2. Man hands
When a woman’s hands are large, swollen, and very masculate. Coined by the Television show “Seinfeld”

“That bitch ain’t givin’ me a hand job, she got man hands!”

I never realized that women could have man hands. I always thought this was a fictitious myth popularized by Seinfeld. Or any woman with man hands was a boxer, weightlifter, basketball player or lobster cracker at Joe’s Crab Shack.

Then I met a woman with ginormous man hands. It was unbelievable. This lady was a giant; her hands where the size of Side-Show Bob’s feet, you would’ve thought she headlined the circus. Her fingers looked like my big toe on gout.

I would watch in amazement as she shoveled popcorn and peanuts into her trap like a backhoe scooping dirt.  She would also crack her knuckles all the time.  When she cracked her knuckles I had to duck and cover because it sounded like a drive-by shooting.

By far the worst thing I witnessed was her trimming her nails.  I wish I had video of this atrocity.  I watched in shock as this herculean sawed her nails off with industrial sized scissors. There was shrapnel flying everywhere as her nails rocketed off of her meat-hooks like a landmine exploding.

It’s safe to say a career as a hand model is unlikely. She’s no JP Prewitt.

J.P. Prewitt: “I’m a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys… we’re a different breed.” – Zoolander

Here’s a celebrman hands:

**The person in this story looked nothing like Uma.

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