A TSA  screener at the Tulsa International Airport was caught masturbating to the images of a woman who was standing in the airport’s new body scanners.  Airports around the country have been testing this new body scanner which shows an X-ray type image of a person and is supposed to show non-metallic weapons and liquid explosives. The TSA screener, Harrison Munch, a 43 yr. old male from the Tulsa area, was caught in “mid-stride” as he reviewed the x-ray image of a busty elderly woman while in the closed room a few feet from the scanner. 

Sinead O'Conner really let herself go

Munch’s co-worker (who did not want to be identified) was coming off of a 20 minute break and decided to bring Munch a can of Coke. She walked into the room and screamed as Munch started to climax all over the keyboard in front of him. Munch was fired on the spot and was arrested for indecent exposure. Police say, more charges are to come.

A spokesperson for Munch stated, “My client is definetely in a sticky situation, however, I have no doubts he will get-off on all charges. Being a TSA is a stressful job and Harrison took advantage of being alone to release some tension. Unfortunately, he got caught shooting knuckle babies on his work equipment.”

Airports have been testing this new scanner for several months now and have come across a lot of opposition. Groups such as the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) have described these scanners as “an invasion of privacy’”and a “disgrace to human rights”.

No doubt that Mr. Munch’s salami-slapping activities will be a huge blow to Homeland Securities plan to implement these scanners in every airport in the country.

Terrorists, fat women, and men hung like elevator buttons everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief across America.

I’m sure Al Gore is currently working on a new security screening machine that will be able to identify plastic knives, while at the same time allowing Americans to keep their “packages” safely hidden from Big Brother.

I wonder if Munch’s dead Great-Grandmother was watching him as he thumbed his nub?

Updated: 11/23/10

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