Last week’s Jackass of the week, Hollywood Barack Obama is doing everything he can to keep his Hollywood connections strong. He has recently tagged Kal Penn, the pot-smoking Indian dude from the movie Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle ,as well as star of the incredibly shitty Epic Movie, to be his Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Liaison.

According to several sources, Penn will be dealing with Asian American issues and the arts community.

Now, I have absolutely NO IDEA what any of that means except for the fact that it is only a matter of time before Obama hires Ellen Degeneres to be the Associate Manager of White House Lesbian Affairs, or offers the job of VP of the White House Office for Cool Black People to Will Smith or even hires Oprah just to stand next to Michelle Obama so that the First Lady always looks thinner.

It is no doubt that Obama LOVES Hollywood. Any guesses for when he makes his first cameo in a movie? He’ll probably wait until he quietly signs America up to join the New World Order and use his appearance in a live-action version of a Muppet Babies movie to distract us.

Ooooooooooh…bama!

monkeyclown MonkeyClown Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Liasion, Barack Obama, Ellen Degeneres, Epic Movie, Harold, Hollywood Barack Obama, Kal Penn, Kumar, Michelle Obama, Oprah, White Castle, White House, Will Smith

President Barack Obama, fresh off his “firing” of General Motor’s CEO Rich Wagoner, has apparently become drunk with power. From his hotel in Europe, Obama made a call to Chicago Cubs skipper, Lou Pinella, and asked him to step down from his post. The President feels that the Cubs have no shot at winning the World Series with Uncle Lou at the helm.

This unwarranted request has Cubs fans all over the world in an uproar. As most people know, (mostly because it was shoved down America’s collective throats the day Obama made his presence felt at the 2004 Democratic National Convention) Obama was an Illinois senator and is a huge fan of the Chicago White Sox. The fact that he is a fan of the South-side scumbags and is meddling with the Cubs, has Northsiders scratching their heads.

Of course, with his all knowing wisdom, Obama assumed there would be backlash and promises Cubs fans that he has the best interest of Cubs fans and the city of Chicago at heart. Obama was quoted as saying, “The black half of my racial makeup understands what it is like to go through difficult times, so I can relate to what the Cubs have gone through these past 101 years. 2009 has been a historic year and I want to keep that magic going by helping the Cubs break their curse and win the World Series in 2009. Unfortunately, I don’t think current manager, Lou Pinella is the right guy to make this happen. And since I am always right, I suggest he step down immediately.”

Pinella was available for comments after a Cubs pre-season game in Arizona and was asked what he thinks of the President’s request. “That uh…Obama kid….he’s a…a….a…good kid,”, Pinella said, “but if he thinks he is going to bully me into stepping down as manager, he can suck the snotty end of my f*%kstick. He needs to keep his White Sox-loving nose out of this one.”

Allegedly, Obama has a list of at least 10 people he thinks should replace Pinella and take the Cubs to the promise land. Unfortunately, more than half of them have already had to decline the nomination due to tax problems and legal issues.

monkeyclown MonkeyClown 2004 Democratic National Convention, Barack Obama, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White sox, General Motors, GM, Lou Pinella, MonkeyClown, Wagoner, World Series

This week’s Jackass of the week is none other than America’s favorite multi-racial American, President Barack Obama. (When did the term “mulatto” become politically incorrect?) Anyway, Barack has picked up where George W. Bush left off: saying stupid shit, (comparing his bowling skills to that of the Olympians in the Special Olympics), portraying to the world an annoying arrogance (a certain cockiness that liberals hated about Dubya, as well as one that Barack hasn’t proven he can back up yet. Of course, Dummycrats think his arrogance is ok…cuz he is the messiah), and he is doing a great job adding to America’s national debit. 

But on top of it all, it seems to me our precious Obama is more interested in becoming a Hollywood celebrity than our nation’s president. Is it just me or does it seem like Barack has been on TV everyday since his inauguration? Now he is going on late night talk shows like Jay Leno, the other day he was on “60 Minutes”, he was all over ESPN giving his NCAA March Madness bracket picks (let’s hope he has better luck with the economy), and several other press and town hall interviews.

I am already sick of seeing this guy. He’s all over TV, radio, newspapers, and the Internet. It’s called OVER EXPOSURE! He’s already close to becoming as annoying to me as Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan and we still have AT LEAST  3 1/2+ years of him to deal with.

What is next? An appearance on Deal or No Deal? A cameo in a very special episode of Grey’s Anatomy? A run at the returning champion on Jeopardy?

Here is my advice to “Hollywood” Barack Obama, give the media a rest, try focusing on your job. You came into this job with just about ZERO experience, how about you sit down and take some notes and turn this country back around.

You will have your chance to appear on Judge Judy and host the 2013 MTV movie awards when you are relieved of duty.

monkeyclown Jackass of the Week 2013 MTV Movie Awards, 60 Minutes, Barack Obama, bowling, Brackets, Deal or No Deal, ESPN, George Bush, Grey's Anatomy, Hollywood, Hollywood Hulk Hogan, Hulk Hogan, Jay Leno, Jeopardy, Lindsay Lohan, March Madness, national debt, Paris Hilton, President, Special Olympics

 

 

 

Poor Jesus…Poor, Poor Jesus. What did he do to deserve this?

 

Seems like the world has replaced him. There is someone new seated at the right hand of the father, a NEW Messiah, and his name is …..Barack Obama.

 

Jesus has done a lot for us, he even DIED for our sins, but apparently, in this “what have you done for me lately” world we live in, that was just too long ago.

 

Enter Barack Messiah Obama. If you listen to the liberal media and the millions of ‘sheeple’ that listen to and hang-on its every word, OUR SAVIOR IS HERE and he will fix all the wrongs that were brought on upon us by George “The Devil” Bush and solve all the world’s problems.

 

According to my change-filled & hope-giddy friends, Obama is going to fix our bad economy, get everyone jobs, fix the mythical Global Warming problem, stop terrorism, bring sexy back, stop the Israeli/Palestinian war, end the war in Iraq, return America to it’s Superpower status, bring the Dodo back from extinction, ensure that Nostradamus’ prediction of the end of days on 12/21/12 will not happen, and buy the entire world a Coke, while teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony. All this in the span of 4, possibly 8 years…that’s pretty amazing. Good luck!

 

The way he has been talked about by the media and the people around me, I am surprised that during his inauguration Obama didn’t walk across the Reflection Pool water or even turn the pool into wine for his minions to celebrate with.

 

I actually feel bad for Obama, he is being set-up for failure. His followers have put so much pressure and expectations on his head that there is no way that he can succeed.

 

I really do hope that Obama can start to turn this country around, but people need to realize that he is not our savior, he is not the Messiah, he is not Jesus.

 

So Jesus, I have a message for you: “You have not been let-go, laid off, or even fired. You still have your job and as soon as these idiots realize that Barack is not you (or even superman for that matter) and that he is just a man they will come crawling back.  

 

I just hope Jesus wasn’t planning a 4yr. vacation to Cancun or he’s going to be pissed!

monkeyclown MonkeyClown 12/21/2012, Barack Obama, Coke, Devil, end of days, George Bush, Jesus, Nostradamus, Superman, WWJD