Grimace, the famous, fat, purple blob from McDonald’s commercials has been scaring the shit out of little kids for decades. Most people already know the history of Grimace, but for those who don’t, here is brief synopsis:

In early McDonald’s commercials Grimace started as an evil four-armed creature who stole milkshakes from people. Yes, another in the long line of thieves in McDonaldland (along with the Hamburglar & the Fry Guys). Apparently, a scary purple tub of goo who stole milkshakes wasn’t a great marketing ploy so they removed two of his four arms and made him Ronald McDonald’s retarded best friend.

But Who Created Grimace and What Exactly is He?

Well, here is the REAL story, one that you won’t find on the McDonald’s website.

The Grimace character was created by McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc. Kroc had some dental problems and his dentist put him on a strict diet of yogurt, pudding, and cheese while recovering from a surgery. He also liked to drink and scotch was a staple at each meal. One day, Kroc went to the bathroom to ‘dip the nuggets in the sauce’ (an inspiration he acted on several years later) and instead of his usual solid stool, out came some thick, sticky matter (aka. Goo Poo or The Sticky Ickies). After a bout with continuous wiping, he got up and, as guys often do, took a look at his dirty work. What Kroc saw amused him. It was a huge thick glob. The site of it made him smile and the idea for a new McDonald’s creature was created.

Early drawings depicted Grimace as an oddly-shaped brown mass with no arms. However, focus groups quickly disapproved of the  brown anthropomorphic blob (later Kroc would revisit these drawings to come up with the design for the first Chicken McNuggets). Ray Kroc went back to the drawing board and tried several vivid colors and eventually settled on purple. He gave the creature four arms and made him evil to be the antagonist to the overly-happy Ronald McDonald.

Grimace was an instant success! Unfortunately, some of the other characters too closely resembled the characters from the popular kids LSD-induced, psychedelic TV show, H.R. Pufnstuf and McDonald’s was sued.

After losing the lawsuit, McDonald’s and Ray Kroc rearranged some of the characters , including Grimace. They removed two of Grimaces arms, gave him a glossy, innocent stare with a retard grin, and made him Ronald’s best friend. Kids accepted the transition and he has been the same lovable character ever since.

Old drawings and notebooks found many failed ideas for Grimace including:

• An actual blob with no legs that quietly slithered on the ground and through grates that snuck up behind people to steal their milkshakes.
• A blob that lived in the toilets of McDonaldland and fed on McDonald’s remains.
• A purple man-beast that dressed up as a McDonald’s employee/janitor that attempted to take people’s trays of food before they were done eating.
• A clumsy oaf that provided comic relief by constantly slipping on the excessive drool coming from the corner’s of his mouth
• A purple monster with superhuman strength (referred to as “retard strength in the notes”) that saved McDonaldland from the forces of evil.
• and many more

Grimace has become a cultural icon and will remain a lovable character in the hearts and minds of both adults and children alike.

I love you Grimace.

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