Well…last year this fashion savvy writer successfully predicted the trends of 2008 fashion (see 2008 Fashion Prediction: Fat is the New Black) and I have some news for you…it looks like more of the same in 2009!

We are only 1 1/2 months into 2009 and already my predictions are coming true.

Leading the way is America’s Sweetheart: #1. Jessica Simpson.

Jessica Simpson 2009 Before and After

Kelly Clarkson - Before and After 2009

Chris Tucker - Before and After 2009

DAAAAAMN SMOKEY! I know he got $25 million for the crappy Rush Hour 3 movie…but he didn’t have to go and spend it all at White Castle! But again, Rush Hour 3 was a bomb and Mr. Tucker is desperate to stay in the Hollywood rags. So what do our 2009 Hollywood friends do to keep up with the Brangelinas of the world? GET FAT! Now I am sure 2009 will be one of Tucker’s most successful years! Just don’t ask him to recite lines from Rush Hour. (“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”….Sorry Chris, not with that double cheeseburger hanging out of your foodbox.)

Those are just 3 examples, be prepared to see more of this as 2009 continues. Right now, Lindsey Lohan is getting skinnier and she will soon find out that her star will continue to fade away until she adds some weight to her pale freckled body.

Hollywood, its time to put down the Tofu and start filling your mouth with M&Ms. You’ve been warned.

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The celebrity fashion for 2007 turned out to be the panty-less look. The celebri-gina was prominent throughout the entire year.  Lindsey, Britney, Paris, and Christina, all of them took turns conveniently forgetting their underpants before a night of heavy partying.

What can these drunken sluts possibly do to get the paparazzo’s attention in 2008? After all…slut slits are starting to get old. (well….)

I figured it out…GET FAT!

Piggin’ OutBritney is still more of a trendsetter than we think. For the past couple of years, she has been quite the little porker (despite her recent efforts to drop some poundage) and she got a TON of media attention for it.

By Mid-February you’ll start seeing the skanks I mentioned above—Lindsey and Paris—starting to chub up. You’ll also start seeing more “B” and “C” list celebs, coming out of the wood-works, riding around in Rascals and being pushed by their Personal Midget Assistants while showing off their new muffin tops and fat asses.

This will be a tremendous blow to the resurgence of Kirsti Alley and Valerie Bertinelli. They will wish they’ve never heard of Jenny Craig. Start shoving those chicken wings back in your mouths girls! Skinny is out…the Michelin Man look is in!

It seems as if Britney and I aren’t the first to think of this. Looks as if Jennifer Love Hewitt has a head start on everybody as reported by What Would Tyler Durden Do?.com (http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3193).

Nice Job J. Luv.

The only bad part is that now–all these mothers who have been complaining that their daughters have been trying to look like these skinny celebs, will start to complain that their girls are unhealthy and fat because they are 200 lbs.—just like Kate Moss.

Hollywood just can’t win.

PS. Hopefully this will apply to the male celebs as well…cuz this writer (and I am sure the majority of my readers) is ahead of the game!

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