5 sports broadcasters that make you want to reach through your television and bitch slap for their stupidity, arrogance, favoritism, and overall suckiness!

5) Bill Walton

4) Joe Buck

3) Bob Costas

2) Joe Morgan

1) Tim McCarver

honkhogan Top 5 Bill Walton, Bob Costas, broadcaster, broadcasting, Joe Buck, joe morgan, sports broadcasters, Tim McCarver, TV, TV color man

Don’t you hate it …
…when you are watching a porno while masturbating and just as you are about to release the knuckle babies— *BAM* the scene switches from the hot “Porn-ho” to the hairy ass/ball shot of the guy drilling her or—even worse—the scene ends.? It is hard to feel completely satisfied when that happens.

My Solution: All porn’s—both soft and hardcore—should have a small beeping sound that indicates there is 30 seconds left in the scene. That would give sufficient time to “finishing” yourself off properly. For those who have to be sneaky and jerk-off without the luxury of sound, maybe our friendly porn makers can also add a small red dot or even a white flag in the lower right hand corner of the screen to signifying the scene is coming to an end. In other words, “Pick up the pace, gentlemen, it’s the last lap!”

 Don’t you hate it…
…when ESPN’s Joe Morgan is announcing the baseball game of your favorite team? Joe Morgan, is by far, the worst announcer in sports. Yes, even worse than Chicago White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson. 75% of the time he opens his trap he is boring us with yet another tale of his playing days. How he played with this guy on the Big Red Machine or played against that guy back in the day. Yeah, Joe you’ve done it all and you’ve done it with everybody. Now go away and never speak again. YOU SUCK!

My Solution: The only solution here is to watch the game but put on the radio for commentary. Until he passes away, gets arrested for stealing sports memorabilia, or gets whacked by an angry fan, we will be hearing this jerk for a long time.

Don’t you hate it…
…when somebody says, ‘Hey, I Resemble That Remark!” This could possibly be one of the dumbest and most annoying phrases since cavemen learned to grunt. Here is a hint, YOU ARE NOT FUNNY…THAT IS NOT FUNNY! 

My Solution (Violent): Punch guilty party in the face.
My Solution (non-violent): Just don’t say it.

Don’t you hate it…
… that a superhero as cool & as close to perfect as Superman, has the worst taste in women? I mean, Louis Lane????? Margot Frickin’ Kidder…this is who Superman chooses to be with? Even in the new Superman movie (Superman Returns) Kate Bosworth isn’t exactly the first girl I would go after in a crowded bar and I am BY NO MEANS Superman (although fairly close). Anyway, I can understand flaws like his allergy to Kryptonite and that he cares too much for the human race. But Superman should be pulling in some superior tail! Instead of this nerdy, annoying, know-it-all journalist he should have the likes of Angelina Jolie, Pam Anderson, or Jenna Jameson at his side.

My Side Note: About 6 yrs ago this writer saw an old nudie magazine featuring Margot Kidder. To this day, I am still having nightmares. Kids, can you say, “Freedom Bush?”

monkeyclown MonkeyClown big red machine, Chicago White sox, hawk harrelson, joe morgan, joe morgan sucks, knuckle babies, Louis Lane, Margot Kidder naked, masturbation, pornos, Resemble that remark, Superman