The Boston Red Sox and die-hard Red Sox fan/horror novelist, Stephen King, have come to an agreement to allow King to turn Fenway’s fabled Green Monster into a “REAL Green Monster”.

King will pay $3 million dollars out of his own pocket to give a face to the Green Monster. The agreement is reportedly only for the 2009 season.

“Until the 2 recent championships, the only scary thing in Boston was that my Red Sox hadn’t won the World Series in 86 years.”, explained King , “Now that they are champions they seem to have lost their edge. Left field’s Green Monster has always been an imposing structure for visiting teams, but its just a big green wall. I am happy that the Red Sox are allowing me to bring my brand of horror to Fenway.”

King went through several designs, many of which focused on images that he thought would specifically scare or distract the rival Yankees (ex. a picture of Kevin Youkilis wearing nothing but Jason Giambi’s golden thong, a picture of money being flushed down a toilet, the recent picture of A-Rod kissing his own mirrored image, and the clown for “IT”) Inevitably, King went to what he knows best and created a creepy green creature that appears to stare down batters at the plate with an evil and ominous grin.

Boston is also considering adding a voice to the monster, having it scream or say something “comically scary” [says an unidentified Sox staff member] in between innings to entertain the fans.

This sounds like a wicked dumb idea to me!

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