Is there anything better than a midget Superman flying through your living room?  I hope this little guy got paid well…Jackass!!

honkhogan Jackass of the Week Jackass, midget, midget tossing, Superman

 

 

 

Poor Jesus…Poor, Poor Jesus. What did he do to deserve this?

 

Seems like the world has replaced him. There is someone new seated at the right hand of the father, a NEW Messiah, and his name is …..Barack Obama.

 

Jesus has done a lot for us, he even DIED for our sins, but apparently, in this “what have you done for me lately” world we live in, that was just too long ago.

 

Enter Barack Messiah Obama. If you listen to the liberal media and the millions of ‘sheeple’ that listen to and hang-on its every word, OUR SAVIOR IS HERE and he will fix all the wrongs that were brought on upon us by George “The Devil” Bush and solve all the world’s problems.

 

According to my change-filled & hope-giddy friends, Obama is going to fix our bad economy, get everyone jobs, fix the mythical Global Warming problem, stop terrorism, bring sexy back, stop the Israeli/Palestinian war, end the war in Iraq, return America to it’s Superpower status, bring the Dodo back from extinction, ensure that Nostradamus’ prediction of the end of days on 12/21/12 will not happen, and buy the entire world a Coke, while teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony. All this in the span of 4, possibly 8 years…that’s pretty amazing. Good luck!

 

The way he has been talked about by the media and the people around me, I am surprised that during his inauguration Obama didn’t walk across the Reflection Pool water or even turn the pool into wine for his minions to celebrate with.

 

I actually feel bad for Obama, he is being set-up for failure. His followers have put so much pressure and expectations on his head that there is no way that he can succeed.

 

I really do hope that Obama can start to turn this country around, but people need to realize that he is not our savior, he is not the Messiah, he is not Jesus.

 

So Jesus, I have a message for you: “You have not been let-go, laid off, or even fired. You still have your job and as soon as these idiots realize that Barack is not you (or even superman for that matter) and that he is just a man they will come crawling back.  

 

I just hope Jesus wasn’t planning a 4yr. vacation to Cancun or he’s going to be pissed!

monkeyclown MonkeyClown 12/21/2012, Barack Obama, Coke, Devil, end of days, George Bush, Jesus, Nostradamus, Superman, WWJD

Don’t you hate it …
…when you are watching a porno while masturbating and just as you are about to release the knuckle babies— *BAM* the scene switches from the hot “Porn-ho” to the hairy ass/ball shot of the guy drilling her or—even worse—the scene ends.? It is hard to feel completely satisfied when that happens.

My Solution: All porn’s—both soft and hardcore—should have a small beeping sound that indicates there is 30 seconds left in the scene. That would give sufficient time to “finishing” yourself off properly. For those who have to be sneaky and jerk-off without the luxury of sound, maybe our friendly porn makers can also add a small red dot or even a white flag in the lower right hand corner of the screen to signifying the scene is coming to an end. In other words, “Pick up the pace, gentlemen, it’s the last lap!”

 Don’t you hate it…
…when ESPN’s Joe Morgan is announcing the baseball game of your favorite team? Joe Morgan, is by far, the worst announcer in sports. Yes, even worse than Chicago White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson. 75% of the time he opens his trap he is boring us with yet another tale of his playing days. How he played with this guy on the Big Red Machine or played against that guy back in the day. Yeah, Joe you’ve done it all and you’ve done it with everybody. Now go away and never speak again. YOU SUCK!

My Solution: The only solution here is to watch the game but put on the radio for commentary. Until he passes away, gets arrested for stealing sports memorabilia, or gets whacked by an angry fan, we will be hearing this jerk for a long time.

Don’t you hate it…
…when somebody says, ‘Hey, I Resemble That Remark!” This could possibly be one of the dumbest and most annoying phrases since cavemen learned to grunt. Here is a hint, YOU ARE NOT FUNNY…THAT IS NOT FUNNY! 

My Solution (Violent): Punch guilty party in the face.
My Solution (non-violent): Just don’t say it.

Don’t you hate it…
… that a superhero as cool & as close to perfect as Superman, has the worst taste in women? I mean, Louis Lane????? Margot Frickin’ Kidder…this is who Superman chooses to be with? Even in the new Superman movie (Superman Returns) Kate Bosworth isn’t exactly the first girl I would go after in a crowded bar and I am BY NO MEANS Superman (although fairly close). Anyway, I can understand flaws like his allergy to Kryptonite and that he cares too much for the human race. But Superman should be pulling in some superior tail! Instead of this nerdy, annoying, know-it-all journalist he should have the likes of Angelina Jolie, Pam Anderson, or Jenna Jameson at his side.

My Side Note: About 6 yrs ago this writer saw an old nudie magazine featuring Margot Kidder. To this day, I am still having nightmares. Kids, can you say, “Freedom Bush?”

monkeyclown MonkeyClown big red machine, Chicago White sox, hawk harrelson, joe morgan, joe morgan sucks, knuckle babies, Louis Lane, Margot Kidder naked, masturbation, pornos, Resemble that remark, Superman