Well…last year this fashion savvy writer successfully predicted the trends of 2008 fashion (see 2008 Fashion Prediction: Fat is the New Black) and I have some news for you…it looks like more of the same in 2009!
We are only 1 1/2 months into 2009 and already my predictions are coming true.
Leading the way is America’s Sweetheart: #1. Jessica Simpson.
Jessica Simpson 2009 Before and After
Jessica is starting out 2009 the right, by keeping FAT at the forefront of the fashion world. Things seemed to slow down for Jessica in 2008. Her country album was a flop, her recent film choices are terrible, and the media just seemed to focus on her relationship with Dallas Cowboy QB – Tony Romo, instead of her hot body and pop music career. So Jessica wisely decided to get back the media’s attention by plumping up a little and I am sure Tony Romo is LOVING the extra cushion! My only advice to Jessica is, while it is great you are bringing fat back…you don’t need to dress like a fat girl. Those pants (pictured above) are atrocious!
#2. Kelly Clarkson:
Kelly Clarkson - Before and After 2009
When was the last time anybody talked about Kelly Clarkson? It has been awhile since she has made any headlines in the tabloids. Seems like ever since Carrie Underwood won American Idol and became the hottest singing star in the country, we’ve all but forgot little Kelly. Too bad! So, Kelly wisely decided to put on some poundage and *BOOM* she is back–2009 style! Good for you Kelly! I once read in a magazine (Maxim or Stuff, maybe) that she doesn’t wear any underwear…with this new body…America can only hope that is still the case! YUM!
#3: Chris Tucker
Chris Tucker - Before and After 2009
DAAAAAMN SMOKEY! I know he got $25 million for the crappy Rush Hour 3 movie…but he didn’t have to go and spend it all at White Castle! But again, Rush Hour 3 was a bomb and Mr. Tucker is desperate to stay in the Hollywood rags. So what do our 2009 Hollywood friends do to keep up with the Brangelinas of the world? GET FAT! Now I am sure 2009 will be one of Tucker’s most successful years! Just don’t ask him to recite lines from Rush Hour. (“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”….Sorry Chris, not with that double cheeseburger hanging out of your foodbox.)
Those are just 3 examples, be prepared to see more of this as 2009 continues. Right now, Lindsey Lohan is getting skinnier and she will soon find out that her star will continue to fade away until she adds some weight to her pale freckled body.
Hollywood, its time to put down the Tofu and start filling your mouth with M&Ms. You’ve been warned.
monkeyclown MonkeyClown $25 million, 2009 Fashion, 2009 Fashion Prediction, Chris Tucker, Dallas cowboys, fat, Fat is the new black, freckles, jessica simpson, kelly Clarkson, Lindsey Lohan, M&Ms, pale, QB, Quarterback, Rush Hour 3, Tofu, Tony Romo, underwear, White Castle
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