I think I can speak for us all when I say, “Burn in Hell, Osama!” It took 10 years, but the United States finally caught their number #1 supervillan. He was living the life of luxury as he was finaly caught hiding in a mansion near the capitol of Pakistan. As is the American way, one can only assume that upon seeing Osama, one of the Navy Seals cocked his gun to the side, made a witty remark, and promptly shot Bin Laden in the face. “USA USA!”

So as not to piss off the nation of Islam (too late!)…America decided to bury Bin Laden’s body in the North Arabian Sea within 24 hours of his death.

Of course, this is not the end of the story. Not only will Bin Laden’s currently  living lackies continue to plot against the US, but Americans won’t let this story die either…not without making some money off it first.

Enter Disney, who is already in talks to write and produce the next installment of the popular Little Mermaid movie series:

  Little Mermaid 3, Terror Under the Sea!

Early word is that the story will center around the terrorist-ghost of Osama Bin Laden as he looks for the 72 virgins he was promised upon his death. Unfortunately, he finds he is not in his  ”Islamic Heaven” but trapped under the sea.  Bin Laden encounters the happy singing crab, Sebastian and kidnaps the little red fella, threatening to kill him if he doesn’t help find him the virgins. Panicking, Sebastian tells him about the beautiful sea maiden Ariel and as you can guess, hilarity ensues.

Look for Little Mermaid 3 to come out around the C2011 Christmas Holidays.

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Bruce Springsteen is the greatest American singer-songwriter to ever live. The Boss is the quintessential American.  He represents everything that is great about this country.  When our fore fathers were drafting the Constitution they envisioned Bruce Springsteen. “We the People” are looking for a unifying voice to stand behind.  Enter a humble New Jersey rocker has not forgot his blue-collar roots while staying true to himself and simultaneously evolving as an artist.  His albums and songs transcend time, the mark of a true legend.  He sings about the common, hard-working man, who’s trying to do the right thing.  People can relate to his lyrics because it touches the depths of their soul and everyone yearns for that one thing—the American dream.

I am shocked and appalled when someone tells me they hate Springsteen.  My response is: “Do you hate baseball, hot dogs, and apple pie?” If so, my advice to you: Go South of the border to Mexico and work for 25 cents a day with no bathroom breaks. You’re born with a silver spoon in your mouth and can’t fathom the everyday struggles of a blue-collar hard-working American, living pay check to pay check.  People who hate Springsteen because they are sick of hearing the same old songs are absolutely retarded.  You think “Born in the U.S.A.” and “Glory Days” are his only songs because you hear them played at your local watering hole. These popular songs exemplify Springsteen and his beliefs but are only a fraction of Springsteen’s excellence. You clearly haven’t listened to any real Boss songs.  Meanwhile, if you truly listened to “Waiting on a Sunny Day”, “Youngstown” or “No Surrender” you would realize how his lyrics, cords, and tone are exceptionally intertwined and personify life, love, and friendship.

If you have never seen Springsteen live in concert, it is without a doubt the best musical experience you will encounter.  His concerts, like his songs are high energy, emotional, and memorable.  It represents youth, freedom, loyalty, persistence, patience and experience from years gone past.  From drinking all night chasing girls to growing up taking responsibility to living your life the way you want to live it; the pain and redemption in his voice ‘cuts through your veins like a knife.’  He sings to the child in all of us and makes us forget for one night the everyday struggles of life.

Oct 2, 2007:  The release of Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Bands’ new album “Magic.”  Which I fully recommend!

Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band also kick off their first tour since 2002 and I guarantee one hell of show, you won’t soon forget, that you can proudly relive with your children.

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